How to Identify & Find Mentors

“Your manager is most likely not a mentor .”

Finding mentors to help navigate the complex journey of working at a startup can be a game changer. However, a recent survey found that while “83% of Gen Z say mentorship is crucial for their development, only 52% reported having a mentor.” While it is clear many see the value in having a mentor, finding a mentor, identifying what you would like to get out of a mentorship relationship, and knowing how to ask someone to be your mentor might leave one scratching their head. 

In this post, I’ll break down how to tackle the subject of finding a mentor. 

Identify the Problem You’re Looking to Solve

Before jumping into finding a mentor, a great place to start is to ask yourself a few questions to narrow the scope of what a “good” mentor for you might look like. 

1️⃣ What am I hoping to get out of a mentor? 

Getting as specific as possible here will help you focus on what you should look for, such as advice on a topic or area of expertise.  

If you find yourself listing skills or goals, like “become a better public speaker” or “get a promotion,” you might find that a mentor is not what you are looking for, but a skills course or coach could be a better fit to accomplish your goals.

2️⃣What background or experience would this mentor likely have? 

Again, getting specific here will help you find a better match. A good fit is someone who has been through a similar situation as yourself previously and held a similar role at a company that has gone through the same growth phase.

Different Types of Mentors

Mentors can come in many different shapes and sizes, from someone who offers guidance and advice in one-off situations to a sustained relationship that can carry on throughout your career. 

I like to think of mentors in a few different buckets: 

1️⃣ External Mentors: These are the most common associations with “mentor—” someone to provide guidance who is not a direct employee/investor of your current company. External mentors can be helpful to troubleshoot specific role problems, offer career advice, and, in some cases, provide introductions to other mentors and career opportunities.

2️⃣ Internal Mentors: These are other members of your organization (in some cases, investors). Internal mentors are great for helping navigate internal politics, collaborate with current projects, and spitball on interpersonal issues.

*Caveat: Your manager is most likely not a mentor. When you move (or they move) onto the next gig, there becomes the possibility. But the dynamic is typically such that their interests are aligned first and foremost with the company, delivering results and their own goals. When looking for a mentor, you want someone who is generally as impartial as possible.

3️⃣ Paid Mentors (such as career coaches): Paid mentorship is a booming industry! A coach might be a great fit if you’re looking for a mentor to operate in a formal capacity with regular check-ins, goal setting, and generally some formal training. 

Finding & Approaching a MentoR

Once you’ve narrowed down what you’re looking for in a mentorship relationship and the background of said mentor, the hunt begins! I mean, the search begins. Generally, there are two paths to finding and reaching out to a mentor. 

1️⃣ Warm Introductions: A great way to find a mentor is to chat with folks in your existing network who might know someone. Framing the conversation in a clear and straightforward ask makes it easier for all parties involved.

Here’s an example: “I’m looking to connect with more folks who have been through (insert problem/project/etc.) before. Do you know anyone who might be good for me to connect with? Would you be able to introduce us?” 

2️⃣ Cold Outreach: If you’ve identified someone who might be a good fit but don’t have a mutual connection or previous relationship, reaching out to them with a specific ask and why you’re interested in connecting is smart. Avoid non-specific asks such as, “getting coffee” or “picking their brain” as it doesn’t show you valuing their time. On the flip side, coming out the gate with “I would like you to be my mentor” is quite strong and asks a lot of a stranger.

Here’s an example that’s worked for me: “I’d love to learn more about your career and how you have navigated building your career, especially regarding “X.” Would you be up for an informal chat?”